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The Gift of Failure How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed Jessica Lahey 9780062299239 Books

Download As PDF : The Gift of Failure How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed Jessica Lahey 9780062299239 Books

The Gift of Failure How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed Jessica Lahey 9780062299239 Books

This book had a profound effect on my thinking about how to be a parent. I don't think of myself as the type who hovers, but I'm starting to understand that I hover more than I realize. It's not that the author is advocating for hands-off parenting. Instead, she points out a lot of the ways in which parents take the reins and deny their kids all sense of control, and how detrimental that can be. We want our kids to grow up to be responsible and capable adults, but how can they do that when we take away their sense of autonomy? This book made me realize it's more important for me to teach my kids life skills like how to manage their time than it is for me to be managing every detail. My doing so comes from good intentions and a desire to see them succeed, but at the same time it conveys subtle messages to them I don't want conveyed.

I read a lot of psychology and social science books because the research just plain fascinates me. While this book offers a lot of anecdotes, it's also infused with an excellent grasp of research. Lahey's background in education shines through, and her suggestions are grounded in the same evidence-based research that I've read. If kids seem different today, it's because they are, and it's not just technology that's driving this change, it's the way parents treat their children and how they view them. We want them to be successful, but in our test-driven, high achieving culture, we are sometimes guilty of emphasizing the wrong things. After reading a great deal about helpless college students, children suffering from stress-related ills, and the mental health problems plaguing universities, this book helped me form an idea as to why this may be: rather than teaching our children to work for the things they want, we're setting them on a prescribed path and sending them the message that they're only okay as long as they follow that prescribed path. Reading this book makes the mystifying question of why children don't want to take risks quite clear: because we've taught them that there's nothing worse than failure.

Yet this book doesn't just discuss research, it also offers a lot of practical solutions for parents. Fair warning, though: not all of these suggestions are easy to swallow. This is where some of the pain came in for me, because I saw myself reflected in some of the behaviors Lahey suggests parents need to break. Giving her suggestions a try isn't going to be easy from a parenting standpoint, and it will require me to retrain myself as well.

I also think there's a lot of value in how this book offers some very good insight into the educational system, which I think is a big benefit to parents who don't come from a teaching background. Lahey proposes that parents and teachers work as partners, and she offers suggestions for how parents can open up dialog with their kids' teachers. Considering how adversarial our current culture and politics paint the relationship between educators and parents, there is a great deal of value in this aspect of the book. It doesn't serve anyone for parents and teachers to be at one another's throats, not when both sides want the same thing. This book offers constructive ways parents can form that partnership with teachers, so that everyone can work together toward the same goal.

I highly recommend this book to both parents and educators.


Tags : The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed [Jessica Lahey] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. <em>NEW YORK TIMES</em> BESTSELLER In the tradition of Paul Tough’s <em>How Children Succeed</em> and Wendy Mogel’s <em>The Blessing of a Skinned Knee,Jessica Lahey,The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed,Harper,0062299239,Education,Child rearing - United States,Child rearing;United States.,Early childhood education - United States,FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS Child Development,Parental overprotection,Parenting - United States,Parenting;United States.,Self-reliance in children,Self-reliance in children.,CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND REARING,FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS Education,FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS General,FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS Parenting General,Family & relationships,Family Parenting Childbirth,FamilyMarriage,GENERAL,General Adult,Non-Fiction,PARENT AND CHILD,PARENTS AND EDUCATION,Parenting,Parenting - General,United States

The Gift of Failure How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed Jessica Lahey 9780062299239 Books Reviews

This book was full of great insight. Our school district put a parent book club to discuss this and it was fabulous. Highly recommend this read!
great book. Very important to give our kids freedom to fail and try again - to strive to succeed by learning that failure is ok and you have to fail to learn and grow and succeed in life. No one should get a trophy unless they truly earn it.
WOW! This is a great book. My kids teacher recommended this book to read over the summer. Lots of great tips and not gudgemental like a lot of parents books are.
From the very title, I was curious about this book, and what it had to offer for me and my children. It came through outstandingly. I found it a little repetitive, but it should definitely be standard reading for any parent who wishes his children to succeed, which I like to believe is all of us.
I read this book at the recommendation of my son's school counselor. It was a total eye opener and will greatly impact and change the way I raise my son going forward. This book could have easily been titled, "The way I used to parent" because it is so accurate down to so many details as it describes my parenting techniques and motivations. I have made many changes already and my son doesn't quite understand who I am anymore. I'm certain that he appreciates the changes although he's a bit disoriented currently, but I know he will be better off in the long run.

I wish there were more anecdotes or perhaps several role playing scenarios added to help offer more suggestions on how to handle more situations but the book was extremely helpful and insightful regardless. Most of the anecdotes I saw play out in our family or with other students from my son's school within hours or days of reading the book. It was amazing.
Great book with some great points. Everything comes too easy to kids now as they are growing up. There is power in failure and being accountable and as a parent and as a teacher I am constantly having this debate with parents and peers. There are developmental skills that need to be developed and this book hits on that need.
This is one of the few parenting books I have read to the very end. (I have started MANY over 14 years.) All parents will find support and expert advice here for how to embrace mistakes as learning opportunities that can help children become better at school and at life. It will help you put your child’s school performance in perspective; think about the nature of the relationship you want to have with your child and her teachers; and nurture autonomy and independence in your child. It is the perfect read at the start of a new school year—for all grades, but especially middle school and high school. Love it. So helpful.
This book had a profound effect on my thinking about how to be a parent. I don't think of myself as the type who hovers, but I'm starting to understand that I hover more than I realize. It's not that the author is advocating for hands-off parenting. Instead, she points out a lot of the ways in which parents take the reins and deny their kids all sense of control, and how detrimental that can be. We want our kids to grow up to be responsible and capable adults, but how can they do that when we take away their sense of autonomy? This book made me realize it's more important for me to teach my kids life skills like how to manage their time than it is for me to be managing every detail. My doing so comes from good intentions and a desire to see them succeed, but at the same time it conveys subtle messages to them I don't want conveyed.

I read a lot of psychology and social science books because the research just plain fascinates me. While this book offers a lot of anecdotes, it's also infused with an excellent grasp of research. Lahey's background in education shines through, and her suggestions are grounded in the same evidence-based research that I've read. If kids seem different today, it's because they are, and it's not just technology that's driving this change, it's the way parents treat their children and how they view them. We want them to be successful, but in our test-driven, high achieving culture, we are sometimes guilty of emphasizing the wrong things. After reading a great deal about helpless college students, children suffering from stress-related ills, and the mental health problems plaguing universities, this book helped me form an idea as to why this may be rather than teaching our children to work for the things they want, we're setting them on a prescribed path and sending them the message that they're only okay as long as they follow that prescribed path. Reading this book makes the mystifying question of why children don't want to take risks quite clear because we've taught them that there's nothing worse than failure.

Yet this book doesn't just discuss research, it also offers a lot of practical solutions for parents. Fair warning, though not all of these suggestions are easy to swallow. This is where some of the pain came in for me, because I saw myself reflected in some of the behaviors Lahey suggests parents need to break. Giving her suggestions a try isn't going to be easy from a parenting standpoint, and it will require me to retrain myself as well.

I also think there's a lot of value in how this book offers some very good insight into the educational system, which I think is a big benefit to parents who don't come from a teaching background. Lahey proposes that parents and teachers work as partners, and she offers suggestions for how parents can open up dialog with their kids' teachers. Considering how adversarial our current culture and politics paint the relationship between educators and parents, there is a great deal of value in this aspect of the book. It doesn't serve anyone for parents and teachers to be at one another's throats, not when both sides want the same thing. This book offers constructive ways parents can form that partnership with teachers, so that everyone can work together toward the same goal.

I highly recommend this book to both parents and educators.